Player types! Yes it's time to be casually dismissive and place players into entirely arbitrary categories that will distress any who are so recognised.
Ah yes. The player who believes they are the best player in the known universe. They have beaten their mum and their friend Bob and came 1st out of 5 players in a core box tournament. The only thing left to do? Obviously to sign on to a global discord league and prove their outstanding skills. A quick raft of wins then they will be featured in the casted games and hobnobbing with the famous players! Unfortunately it does not go that way. A quick raft of big defeats and they rapidly see that perhaps they are not quite so dominant as they once thought. Dreams of being casted and mentioned in awe disappearing they instead lose interest and stop playing in the discord league.
The kicking board
The valiant, valiant players who take a kicking league after league but come back for more. Much thanks should be given to these valiant souls as without them everyone else would have a much harder time getting the odd win to salve their conscience.
The Stable Door
Wide open and the horse has bolted. For those unicorn players. Like the kicking board players but with more of an excuse. These souls repeatedly take something impossible (chance of winning (currently) with a Unicorn deck and repeatedly take on other decks - much to those players delight. (Perhaps soon to be replaced by other clans).
Plays L5R and doom and destiny and WOW and pokesomething. You never can get this player to play a match online as they are always busy doing something else.
The league meta player
A cunning soul who looks at the league and decides his (her?) best chance is to rapidly defeat the known bad group players with speed and then fail to match make with any of the better players.
Clan mate super star
These exist in all the Clans. You might suck (but not realise it) and your salty tales of how Lion has difficulty winning due to its horrendous card pool are repeatedly kicked in the face by these gits who play the same clan yet win. All the time. It's difficult to claim your clan sucks when it repeatedly wins with other people.
You have valiantly played Unicorn your entire adult life and as soon as they get decent (we're assuming a future FFG lurch to overpowering Unicorn next set. Presumably.. Though they'll probably just give more synergistic good stuff to Lion and Scorpion) then a bunch of no hopers jump on and start to steal all the glory! They may claim they and their parents always played Unicorn but you have a sneaking suspicion that Bayushi Horse and Doji Saddle might have had other allegiances in the past. Either that or they couldn't be arsed to change their entire discord handle.
Those who rather like the funkier names. Probably caused by playing games in the past where you get targeted by name so |AsuisdfASUIQWER8976349587JFFGDF;GHJ7778 can prove a tactical advantage. Wait till your opponent tries to correctly type that in the league report form (I may be a little salty about this Sashimi - you listening :( )
Prophet of doom
Predicts the demise of the game as they only know the true path to L5R greatness. People ignore them or shrug and move on. This angers them. Why do people not recognise a true L5R prophet. Rather than sodding off they talk more. Because complaining always is a winning approach to stopping people playing a game when you don’t want to. Less obvious in the league because more players here are committed but you'll see several of these on the FFG website
They will be out there. My favourite FFG cheat of all time was in a WH Conquest final. He won a competition but since he won was filmed and sharp eyed players noticed he was palming extra cards. Tsk Tsk. That might be bad enough but he then generated some sock puppets on the relevant forum to try and argue his case (accident! Didn't realise!! Under stress!!!). This was not the winning strategy he hoped so he logged on as himself to apologise and try and defuse the heat. This still did not work and in a moment of panic he forgot he had logged on as his sock puppet and posted as himself on the sock puppets account. When this was noticed his response of 'this is from him' was of deserving hilarity. See if you can spot the sock puppet
(plus it has several L5R stalwarts from the League in the discussion!!
Some final quick hits!
Lion Players - lucky bastards.
Scorpion Players - just bastards
Unicorn Players - poor bastards
Mantis Players - not yet but I bet they'll be bastards when they get here
Shadowlands Players - see Mantis players
Crane Players - rule, except not since they started expansion packs. Unless your Luke/Chut/Jeremy/Erik (see 'Clan Mate super star')
Phoenix Players - Like playing with their rings
Dragon Players - These guys just love the power rangers and making their own 'mighty Zorg' or is that 'Zord'
Crab Players - Can out dis-honour Scorpion which is amusing. Not for Scorpion who basically function as the anti-Crane. Way of the Crab can be the most hilarious card to play in the game and Kisada is the best Champion.