LCG Clan Descriptions
L5R is full of clans. Unfortunately most players put their clans on pre-built pedastools. Therefore I felt it would be helpful to describe the clans in a more realistic, absolutely unbiased fashion.
The Crab clan are
the serious (and large) defenders of the Empire from the might of the
Shadowlands
Players View -
Politics is for cowards and something the Crab clan have no time for. Brave,
heroic and l did I mention large? the Crab sacrifice all for the namby pamby other clans to
take advantage of.
Outside View - Crab
is quite similar to green in magic so very large, strong units. They also have a sacrifice/not sacrfice stay around for ever theme which seems contradictory becuase it is.
What they actually
are - Beyond the obvious fact that they obviously take illegal growth
supplements this then affects their brains making them more stupid than other
clans. They are also hypocrits. Every time you meet a Crab clan member you just
know they will lecture you on how wonderful they are and how they defend this
and that whereas history shows that they fail repeatedly and other clans keep
pulling their chestnuts from the fire. This distresses the Crab so in old lore
they have a tendency to leave their wall unprotected (or let the Shadowlands
in) and attack the other clans instead. Then they carry on pretending its all
about the wall when it obviously is all about their own sense of inferiority
All hell is breaking lose yet this Crab clan member seems to have fallen asleep. Or is really keen on the sensations of her smooth stick
The popular Crane
Clan, often white haired, often challenging in ascertaining sex are next.
The Players View -
Three sections exist of Crane players. We have 'political masters' dominating
the courts by excellence in art and politics, we have the 'master duelists'
solitary skilled honourable warriors and finally the 'dirty fighters' -
military players who will do anything to get things done to protect the Crane. There also used to be the 'Iron Crane' -old style masses or defensive Crane but that was a rubbish idea in the CCG days and still is now so lets ignore those players.
Outside View -
Closest concept I have found is that the Crane are similar to the Emperors
Children of Horus Heresey (wh40k) fame. They follow excellence in all things so
have the best courtiers, swordsman etc etc. But when they are bad they can be really bad.
What they actually
are - The Crane are pre-eminent in being two faced and pretending they are absolutely not and
everyone else pretends with them. Take the Harriers, it is well known in the
Empire that the Crane use 'unflagged' soldiers to carry out highly dishourable
acts to defend Crane land against stronger militaries but the fact they are
'unflagged' mean no-one can actually acuse the Crane of doing this. Their courtiers
and duelists are excellent which is needed as without that they would not get
away with having their own blue ninjas..
Equally typical Crane, is it a girl? or a boy?. Has sword and likes standing under falling blossom. So Crane members only move around during two weeks in the year.
The Dragon clan love
sitting under waterfalls, perhaps showering or cooling down the latest 'hip'
tatoo.
Players View - Two
primary veins of Dragon players exist. We have the Monk brand who practice
mysticism, tatoo wearing and generally wandering around half naked. The other
brand is the other famed dueling school in the land involving a 'two hand
style' of fighting.
Outside View - Monks and martial artist style weidors who have strange explanations for everything they do that makes no sense.
What they actually
are - The two hand style is nothing but a gimmick really as any Samurai could
use one or two weapons dependant on situation. The Dragon are supposed to be
enigmatic but the reality is they are more usually vacilitating and weak. The
perfect land sect has recently grown from strength to strength on their land
and the Perfect land sect is basically 'democracy' and thus being vacilitating
some dishonourably agree with the PLS and some honourable act like evil
overlords by murdering anyone who dares try to better the common people. The Dragon have strong cards so 'should' be dominant but they are often so boring that no one apart from the famouse MindsDesire actually seems to want to play them at a high level.
Have waterfall, will shower. Typical Dragon clan Monk,
The Lion Clan are the
closest clan to the historic Japanese Samurai
Players View - The
pre-emeninent military in Rokugan the Lion clan has the biggest, most efficient
and best army in the country led by the best leaders.
Outside View - Lion
is weenie rush so think White in Magic or Zerg in Starcraft
What they actually
are - Exactly what they are though they don’t realise it. Due to numbers the
Lion clan wins a lot of wars. They then think this was due to talent and skill
but no. If 30 ashigaru with fists rip apart an Armoured warrior with a sword then
that does not mean those thirty peasants (or their leader) are tactical geniuses. The Lion think
differently though. The Lion are also the clan most likely to randomly kill
peasants to test their swords are sharp. This makes them particularly arrogant.
Whereas a Crane might want to test his sword but would not due to not wanting
to appear to be breaking compassion a Lion doesn’t care. Lion players get
irritated when they lose military battles (see 'tactical geniuses' again ) but
as is shown they are wrong so can regularly get beaten by actual tacitcal
geniuses from other clans. This makes Lions players sad but they can always go and cut up a
peasant or two. Amusingly even the Emerald Empire source book notes that the
Lion can be tactically moribubd and to refuse to do anything which
was not written down by the old masters. They also were slow to even learn to
'read'. This all points at the Lions biggest shortcomings..on the other hand it
also says they are quick to adapt but when you outnumber your opponent 100 to 1
this does not indicate tactical astuteness.
Depressed Lion clan member wondering where her horde has gone.
The Phoenix Clan are noted for their Shugenja
Players View -
Masters of talking to the Kami the Phoenix posses the pre-eminent Shugenja in
the land so are the best warriors as what warrior can stand up to mountain
landing on their head? The Phoenix do what is neeeded to protect the soul of
Rokugan
Outside View -
Wizards in orange. Most of my favourite art in game has been Phoenix. If you
like zapping things then Phoenix is for you
What they actually
are - Due to perceived strength there is
a strong band of 'pacifism' riding through the Pheonix basically because as without that every war would end with a random Phoenix shugenja dropping
another mountain on someone. Since they rarely actually get involved more of
their super Shugenja end up opening Black Scrolls (eviiiiil) and then carrying
out yet more Evil. Repeatedly as the Phoenix apparently never learn from their mistakes.
In LCG terms the Phoenix are the 'Tiny Tims' of Rokugan as their spell
recursion stronghold is like an enormous crutch as they cant seem to do
anything with their other decent cards without their crutch.
The Phoenix are the fire-starters of Rokugan
Next up we have
those lovers of leather and silk, the bondage kings (and Queens, definitely the
Queens) of Rokugan the Scorpion clan.
The Players View -
The Scorpion players view of themselves is basically as those willing to
do whatever it takes to protect Rokugan. As the original Scorpion said to the
1st Emperor - 'I will be your enemy' (or perhaps not it was a Scorpion so he was probably lying) - basically public honor does not count as
long as you know privately that your actions saved the world.
Outside view - For
players not familiar with L5R the Scorpion are Ninja's, assasins and spies. Oh
and they wear a lot of red leather and silk combos.
What they actually
are - The reality of the Scorpion is that they are primarily drug dealing
criminals who deceive and murder in their attempt to keep a nasty status quo
running. They are basically the secret police of adictatorship murdering all
the freedom fighters without process to ensure as much corrupt money as
possible floods to them. Oh and they
usually muck up and do something so evil and stupid that hundred of thousands
of innocents die. They are though popular with the story team, artists and
designers.
Red silk? check, Red leather? - perhaps later
Unicorn Clan - Horse riding warriors bringing a streak of something new to Rokugan
Players View -
Magnificent horse riders using new tactics to dominate Rokugan. Unafraid of new
things and techniques versus the more hidebound other clans
Outside View -
Ghengis Khan and the Mongol horde. Lots of movement tricks as they ride...horses...This should irritate the Phoenix as so what the army has horses - a Phoenix shugenja could make his entire army appear and disppear anywhere even faster.
What they actually
are - Smelly nomads without manners who wear strange clothes. They sodded off
for hundreds of year and now they are back should really probably sod off
again. I should love the Unicorn but
their artwork puts me off. They look like they have gone to a sale at the local
fur store whilst colour blind. When the LCG arrived several clan dominances had
existed in the past and were regarded as 'BPE' Bad Play Experiences. These
included Crane 'not in the face' defensive honor rush, Scorpion dishonouring
anyone, Lion weenie rush and Unicorn military dominance. FFG seem to have taken
steps to avoid (almost) all these. Honor running doesn’t currently exist, Lion
weenie does but once past core has not been allowed to be strong and the
Unicorn were nerfed before release. This meant the Unicorn basically sucked
through the first year and in true Card game fashion the designers are about to
address this with a too large counter in the other direction probably making
the Unicorn totally unbalanced and dominant for the next two years (the only
NPE allowed was Scorpion which (as far as I can tell) was because the storyteam
lead and designers loved the concept behind Scorpion so gave them all the best
stuff repeatedly. Don't ask a Scorpion player though as the fact they make 60% of the top cuts in most comps is pure talent. Oh and they have always played Scorpion and so did their grandparents and they are absolutely not bandwaggoners)
A Unicorn Samurai writing a strongly worded letter concerning how her clan sucks. Even though it doesn't anyomore.
Mantis Clan - Green
pirates
Players View - After
Yoritomo managed to argue that because his ancestor was related to one of the
Kami the Mantis pirates became a great clan as they deserved. This allowed them
to be even better pirates
Outside View -
Yaaaaarggggh Pirates be here. Shvier me timbers
What the actually
are - Pirates with long flowing locks. Yoritomo was an idiot. If his argument
held then since all people can find an ancestral link to someone that means
every clan should be a great clan so his argument was stupid. Mantis are
currently only a bunch of neutral cards that you can add to the deck and long
may this continue as Mantis players tend to be insufferable producing reams of
writing as to 'why and how we will introduce Mantis' but forgetting the fact
that they became so unpopular in the last incarnation of the game that the clan
died hence why it was not rebirthed now.
Not sure why Yoritomo is purple or why he appears to be fighting nothing. That would be Mantis all over
Spider Clan - evil!
Players view - don’t
exist so don’t care
Outside view - don’t
exist so don’t care
What they actually
are - 'non existent' but any players who still like them often have Mantis
propensities to think this matters and everyone else should think the same
Why does this armour stand up? who left it in a dark wood? and since its Spider why do you care?
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